Revision Lab - Big
One

Thursday,
November 13, 2008

7:17 PM

[Sir Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to
a chivalrous moral code.  This moral code is based upon Christian beliefs and is tested throughout the novel.  These moral
tests and later moral failures show
the fallen man which is outlined throughout medieval Christianity.]  [Although the Knights of
the Round Table are some of the most chivalrous men in all the land they are
still humans and not gods.  They are imperfect and show this through sin.]  Sir
Gawain lives up to his moral code when he does not accept the
courting of Sir Bertaliks wife but he violates it when he accepts the green girdle and uses
it as an unfair advantage. This want to survive is a human instinct and shows the imperfection of
humans.  Throughout the whole novel the focus of the knights is to live
up to a godly standard of living but Sir Gawain comes to learn this is truly
impossible.  Although having moral codes as goals to live by, at the end
of the day he and his brethren are all truly human, imperfect in every way.

[ ] Combine
sentences in brackets.

bold:
passive voice-- convert to active voice

underlined: weak verb-- revise with stronger language

italics:
awkward phrasing

Precision,
clarity, and logic

Get
rid of passive voice

Look
for hidden verbs

Find the main idea and make
that stand out Don’t just randomly combine sentences

Preserve other minor ideas
as sub ideas

Joe, the idiot who owns a
brown dog, is my neighbor.

First 2 sentences:

First sentence is
the main idea ?

Ending and
starting with the same phrase is a good candidate to combine

It seems like a
sentence I would write – Breaking things up

[Sir Gawain
and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code which is based upon Christian beliefs and is
tested throughout the novel.  Still
passive voice These moral tests and later moral failures show the fallen man which is outlined throughout medieval
Christianity.]

Sir Gawain and
the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous moral
code based upon Christian beliefs and tested throughout the novel.  These moral
tests and later moral failures reveal the
fallen man, a symbol of medieval Christianity.

Sir Gawain and
code based upon Christian beliefs.
The moral tests and subsequent moral failures reveal the fallen man, a symbol of medieval Christianity.

Every
good sentence is about the verb – it all comes down to them

When
you come across sentences that are hard to make concise – write more about it

[Sir Gawain and the
Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to1a chivalrous moral
code.  This moral code is based upon Christian beliefs and is tested throughout the novel.
These moral tests and later moral failures2 show the fallen man3 which is outlined throughout medieval
Christianity.]  [Although the Knights of the Round Table are some of the
most chivalrous men in all the land they are still humans and not gods.
They are imperfect and show this through sin.]  Sir Gawain lives up to
his moral code when he does not accept the courting of Sir Bertaliks wife but he violates it when he
accepts the green girdle and uses it as an unfair advantage. This want to
survive is a human
instinct and shows the imperfection of humans.  Throughout the whole novel the
focus of the knights is to live up to a godly standard of living but Sir
Gawain comes to learn this is truly impossible.  Although having moral
codes as goals to live by, at the end of the day he and his brethren are all
truly human, imperfect in every way.

[ ] Combine sentences in
brackets.

bold:
passive voice-- convert to active voice

underlined:
weak verb-- revise with stronger language

italics:
awkward phrasing

Examples:

Although Sir Gawain and the
Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous moral code based
upon Christian beliefs, Gawain's failure to pass the moral tests posed for him
by the Green Knight exemplify the medeival Christian archetype of the fallen
man. Natlie Nunez

Sir Gawain and the Knights of
the Round Table live by a Christian code of chivalry which, when tested,
reveals the archetype of the fallen man.

Sir Gawain and the Knights
of the Round Table strive to practice the code of chivalry and the morals
of Christianity, but they fail the Green Knight's test of those ideals. The poem
implies that even the most celebrated and virtuous heroes are merely human and
prone to prideful error. More info Through its tone and
structure, the poem praises Sir Gawain and the Round Table knights as heroes,
but the knights' actions and reactions ironically4  reveal them to be
fallen, sinful men.  Language of literary
criticism

No passive voice

What is the simple noun-verb pair

Failure – normalized verb (verb -> noun) – hobbles it

Fail is the hidden verb

“They fail”

Medieval Christianity – separate idea

Trying to place into larger picture

May just need to strike or own sentence/paragraph

This verb is
also weak and needs to be replaced. This verb may be the source of the
all the trouble.

Failure is a nominalization. it may be the hidden
verb of the whole sentence. The point of the paragraph is that SG and the
knights fail, so this should be a verb, not a noun hidden in the
sentence.

I can't combine this
"fallen man' concept into the sentence, and I think I know why. It
needs to be developed. In fact, it may be the central idea of the
paragraph. This may be the kernel of the idea this writer is trying to
get across, but since he did not have the language to convey it, he
flubbed it and stuffed it in the back of the sentence. Writer does not
have language – so flubbed it

Note how the paragraph employs the language of
literayt criticsm to drive home its main point.

Clean
up the italicized things – don’t say much

-----

Carolyn
Seo said

at 8:58
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table fail to live up to a chivalrous
moral code based upon Christian beliefs that depict the fallen man outlined
throughout medieval Christianity.

Naomi said

at 8:59
am on Nov 11, 2008

Gawain
and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous moral
code based upon Christian beliefs tested throughout the novel. These moral
tests, and later moral failures, portray the fallen man outlined throughout
medieval Christianity.

Rachael
Lipson said

at 9:00
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a well-tested,
chivalrous moral code that upholds the beliefs of medieval Christianity.

Nicole
Ferrara said

at 9:01
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code of Christian beliefs. The tests and failures of the Knights
represent the fallen man from medieval Christianity.

jeffreyhall said

at 9:01
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table live by a Christian code of chivalry
which, when tested, reveals the archetype of the fallen man.

Sara
Wing said

at 9:02
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the knights of the Round Table, striving to live up to a chivalrous
moral code based on Christian beliefs, mirror the fallen man through failures
when tested throughout the novel.

taylor said

at 9:02
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code based on Christian beliefs. Gawain is put through numerous tests
but his perseverance does not advocate the failure of the court as a whole.

Will H said

at 9:02
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to maintain a chivalrous
moral code which is based upon Christian beliefs. Although the Knights of the
Round Table are chivalrous men they are still imperfect and therefore commit
sins.

Amanda
Ward said

at 9:02
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code, based on christian beliefs, that is tested throughout the novel.
These tests and later failures depict the fallen man that is prevelent through
out medieval Christianity.

Mary
Claire said

at 9:02
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code of Christian beliefs and through their moral tests and failures
present medieval Christianity's fallen man. Although the Knights of the Round
Table are some of the most chivalrous men in all the land, their imperfections
from sin reveal they are still humans and not gods.

ashelton said

at 9:03
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live a life adherent to a
moral code based on Christian beliefs. The troubles the Knights encounter test
this code, and their failure to honor that code demonstrate the fallen man
character present in Christian history

Abel
Engler said

at 9:03
am on Nov 11, 2008

Moral
tests continue to show the moral failures in Sir Gawain and the Knights of the
Round Table who strive to live up to a Christain based, chivalrous, moral
code. Although the Knights of the Round Table are some of the most chivalrous
men in all the land, they are still imperfect, sinful humans; not gods.

Jason
Marciano said

at 9:04
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the knights of the Round Table promote a chivalrous code based on
Christian beliefs while introducing the fallen man represented by his failures
throughout the novel.

Amanda
Wilson said

at 9:05
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a
Christian-based moral code, which outlines the fallen man common in medieval
Christianity.

Alex
Hartley said

at 9:06
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain strives to live up to a chivalrous moral code based upon Christian
beliefs; the code tests Gawain and his failure is outlined throughout medieval
Christianity.

Marie
Costa said

at 9:06
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code, based upon Christian beliefs and tested throughout the novel. He
fails these moral tests, exposing his downfall.

Jenna
Baldwin said

at 9:07
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code based upon Christian beliefs and tested throughout the novel. These
moral tests and failures define the fallen man which is outlined throughout
medieval Christianity.

keeponrowling@... said

at 9:20
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table live up to a moral code, embedded in
Christian beliefs and tested throughout the novel. Although, they maintain
this code for the reputation of the court, failure is inevitably human.

Jordan
Talasnik said

at 10:56
am on Nov 11, 2008

Based
upon Christian beliefs, Sir Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive
to live by a chivalrous moral code, tested throughout the novel, only to show
the moral failures outlined by medieval Christianity.

Michael
Plasmeier said

at 10:56
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code based upon Christian beliefs. The moral tests and subsequent moral
failures reveal the fallen man, a symbol of medieval Christianity.

Eve
Lalor said

at 10:56
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code that is based on Christian beliefs, yet they show their weaknesses
through failing numerous moral tests.

catiecoyle15@... said

at 10:56
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table are tested throughout the novel
based on how they adhere to their chivalrous moral code based on Christian
beliefs.

yuan
huang said

at 10:56
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a chivalrous
moral code, a code based upon Christian beliefs, throughout the novel by
taking tests that later addresses the Christian idea of a man’s “Fall from
Grace.”

Natalie
Nunez said

at 10:57
am on Nov 11, 2008

Although
Sir Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a
chivalrous moral code based upon Christian beliefs, Gawain's failure to pass
the moral tests posed for him by the Green Knight exemplify the medeival
Christian archetype of the fallen man.

Maura said

at 10:59
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir Gwain
and the Knights of the Round Table are tested throughout the novel to live up
to a chivalrious moral code based on Christian beliefs. These moral tests,
which eventually become moral failures, identify with the fallen man often
outlined throughout medieval Christianity.

Frankie
Livi said

at 11:00
am on Nov 11, 2008

Sir
Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table strive to live up to a Christian
moral code, which they test throughout the novel. Medieval Christianity
outlines these displays of moral tests and failures of the fallen man.

Hannah said

at 11:03
am on Nov 11, 2008

In Sir
Gawain and the Green Knight, Gawain and the Knights of the Round Table's
morals are tested throughout the story and tested against medieval religion.
The Knights are chilvarious and moral for the most part, however from all the
moral tests, they sometimes fail and their humanity becomes apparent through
sin.

Unclear sentence:

Sir Gawain lives up to his moral
code when he does not accept the courting of
Sir Bertaliks wife awkward but he
violates it when he accepts the green girdle and uses
it as an unfair advantage.

A verb is hiding as
a noun “courting”

Sir Bertalik’s
wife courts Sir
Gawain

Is she courting
him?

Language
gendered: only men court (woman)

No she is
tempting, seducing

Sir Gawain respects
his moral code when he rejects the seduction of Sir Bertaliks’s wife; however,
he violates his morals when he accepts the green girdle.

Sara
Wing said

at 9:02
am on Nov 13, 2008

Sir
Gawain lives by his moral code when he refuses Sir Bertalik’s wife’s
seduction, but violates his beliefs when he keeps the green girdle for use as
an advantage against the Green Knight. The human instinct to survive is
indicative of the imperfection of man. Throughout the novel, the Knights of
the Round Table strive for perfection, but Sir Gawain comes to learn this is
impossible. Although the knights have a moral code, since they are not gods,
they have imperfections.

ashelton said

at 9:02
am on Nov 13, 2008

Sir
Gawain applies his moral code when he resists seduction, but forgets the code
when he accepts the green girdle.

Jenna
Baldwin said

at 9:07
am on Nov 13, 2008

Sir
Gawain lives up to his moral code when he does not respond to Sir Bertilak’s
wife’s attempts at seducing him but then violates it when he accepts the green
girdle and uses it as an unfair advantage.

Mary
Claire said

at 9:07
am on Nov 13, 2008

When Sir
Bertalik's wife's attempts to seduce Sir Gawain fail, it is evident Sir Gawain
lives up to his moral code. He later violates it by accepting the green girdle
as protection from possible death.

yuan
huang said

at 10:50
am on Nov 13, 2008

When Sir
Gawain resisted Sir Bertalik's wife's seduction, he practiced the code of
chivalry, but by accepting the green girdle for proctection, he violated the
code.

Greta said

at 10:51
am on Nov 13, 2008

By
refusing to yield to the advances of Sir Birtalak’s wife, Sir Gawain adheres
to his moral code. He later violates the code when he accepts the Lady’s
girdle and uses it unfairly to his advantage.

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